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20130627

the 1st nigger #IMAGINEthat


i grew up in the suburbs of Illadelph. South Jersey (SJ) to be exact. Edgewater Park & Willingboro to be specific. i often jokingly refer to SJ as East Illadelph because all of the broadcast media that shaped my thoughts as i grew came from Illadelph. i actually moved here when i was in my late teens & have spent my entire life as an adult in this beautiful city.

the majority of the huebeins i grew up around were European Statesians. my family did not have any Europeans in it, but the genetic influence of Europeans is clear on my egg donor side. it's possible that there is some American genetics mixed in there too, but that's not a topic for now.

the post Civil Rights era mentality of the African Statesians that i was exposed to essentially taught me that desegregation had worked. the incidences of racial hatred &/or prejudice were no longer prevalent as they used to be. the struggle for equality was effective. we were now enjoying the fruits of labor of the struggle.

this is the 1970's in the minds of the African Statesians that i grew up around.

somewhere along this path i had a European Statesian associate who was the son of 1 of my egg donor's associates. i would say we were friends back then. it's a lot easier to use the friends label when you're young. i'll call this associate Jim for the sake of this story. Jim & i used to spend the night at each others homes, play outside w/each other, & many of the other things that people do when they're social.

Jim & his family moved from SJ to Ohio in the mid to early '70's. Jim's family moved because his sperm donor worked for a franchise as a manager & they moved him around sometimes. this wasn't a big deal for me. i had other associates, & our egg donors kept in touch.

thanks to the our egg donors relationship, i got to experience my 1st plane flight. this was an amazing experience & i still have a great love for flight to this day. my egg donor & i flew from Illadelph to Ohio to visit Jim & his family. we stayed at Jim's house. if i recall correctly, this was for the Christmas holiday that year.

as i was told by my egg donor, Jim's sperm donor was prejudiced. he seemed to hold himself together relatively well when we were around, but who knows how he acted when we weren't there. i was told that he could be abusive to Jim's egg donor. i'm not sure if that meant mentally, physically, or both. Jim grew up in this environment. it had an effect on our interactions.

1 evening Jim & i were playing & things got a little heated. i suppose we were arguing over a toy or some rules of play & Jim decided he was angry enough to call me nigger.

this was the 1st time i was ever called nigger by a European Statesian to my face.

i told my egg donor & Jim's family what happened. Jim's egg donor was embarrassed as i can recall, but i don't quite recall his sperm donor's reaction. i don't recall if they beat him or not. i know i got beating for incidents like this, but this wasn't my incident.

we continued to stay at Jim's house until we left & my egg donor stayed in contact w/Jim's. the 2 of them maintained their relationship for many years after that as well. Jim & i did not stay in contact. it has nothing to do w/this incident though.

i haven't forgotten this 1st nigger.


there have been many since. usually not to my face about me, but European Statesians yelling out nigger in passing has been relatively common in my personal experience. in fact, at Trenton State College, if you passed the Travers & Wolfe dorms on certain occasions, you could hear nigger yelled at you from the cover of dark windows. this was in the late '80's to early '90's.

the most recent of these incidents was at an event here in Illadelph. a drunk European Statesian was complaining about the presence of young African Statesians on South Street. ironically, he had interrupted a relatively spiritual conversation i was having w/a huebein who was from 1 of the countries in Central America. this drunk dude didn't seem to care that he was talking to someone who looked like 1 of the niggers he decided to complain about. this was in October '12.

the word nigger is definitely not foreign to me as an African Statesian...

PEACE
...be calm...

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