the pursuit...

it's been over 2 decades since i decided to begin to pursue what i wanted to do creatively. in that time frame i have had to deal w/a lot of bullshit. as i am an extremely honest human being, the majority of that bullshit has admittedly resulted from user error. in many cases, such error has resulted in the pursuit of my creative goals being obscured.

the greatest challenge for me has always been to create & maintain a source of reliable funding. i never thought it was a solid idea to try to make a living solely as a creative. it isn't that it can't be done so much as it is extremely rare. i was not interested in becoming a bitter old creative who gave up because the $$$ never came to embrace the creative energy/output. i was similarly disinterested in having to either sell my creative soul &/or dilute my expression in order to attract those who had $$$, but no respect for the creator, the creations, &/or the creative process.

these ideas are still part of my pursuit, but so is the lack of funding. for various reasons, i have yet to establish consistent non-creative oriented funding to the extent that it fosters greater creative functioning of self. for a few years i stepped away from being creative because i thought it might benefit me to work more on establishing said funding. this has not proven to be beneficial overall. the funding continues to be an issue & it would appear to some that i have just recently begun to pursue something that i have been working at for years.

is it frustrating? hells to yup! but itiswatitis...

i don't have time to be mad or complain. i have too much work to do. 1 of the user errors that i have been profoundly guilty of is not P-R-A-C-T-I-C-I-N-G. this lack of practice is partially due to being preoccupied w/the effort to establish/maintain funding, & primarily due to user error.

imagine that...

1of the things i have continued to do throughout everything is write. i have also continued to indulge my creative essence when/however it seeks to be released. what i have to do now is be more mindful of the people & things that do not contribute to the + pursuit of the intended goal(s). these matters are far too costly to be ignored...

more user error...

the most important thing about user error is learning from it. in some cases it has taken a while, but i'd rather take a while than not learn at all. i've seen way too many cats do the same things repeatedly & hold all parties responsible like the party in the mirror is a non-event.

no thank you to that invitation...

PEACE
...be calm...